The Valentine's Day Quandry

As we enter February, retailers turn our attention to Valentine's Day, (or as many of my friends refer to it as "Single Awareness Day").  The challenge with Valentine's Day is, it's very hard for anyone to meet expectations that are set around that day, unless they're clarified beforehand.

So I'm posting this now at the beginning of February, with the hope of love, joy and peace on that day in place of disappointment and upset.  Perhaps Valentine's day is an opportunity to have an expectation conversation about what would really make a difference for each person on Valentine's Day.

Here are the three steps to having a great Valentine's Day. First, let the other person know if this is an important holiday for you. For some people, Valentine's Day means a lot and is very significant around their relationship, and if nothing is said or done to acknowledge the holiday, there can a lot of disappointment that shows up. For others, February 14th is just another day and it doesn't really matter. So please tell your partner what it is that matters to you about Valentine's Day. (If you are one of the millions of single people, take time now to create for yourself an experience on Valentine's Day that will nurture you and let you feel that the universe is on your side).

Second, set your partner up to win. Tell them what would really make you happy to do, see or have on Valentine's Day, and then ask your partner what they need to make that happen for you, and listen.  Then ask them for their ideal scenario and come to a wonderful compromise, a compromise where everybody can get some, if not all, of what they want.

Third, and most importantly, Valentine's Day is only one day a year. Your loving relationship and the loving feelings you have for your partner have 364 other opportunities to express themselves. Starting today, find out what it is that makes your partner feel loved and then show them love in their way.

*  If you have any questions or know of an organization who may need some gender based communication training, I'm always here to be of service. I wish you all a month full of love, joy, romance and peace.